Coping with sudden change: “Does humour belong when there’s no music?”

A tour day can be long and the tour longer but they eventually all come to a conclusion. We know the time or date and plan towards it. With Panicdemic upon us, there is no itinerary and we don’t yet know when it will end. Now that our gig economy suddenly has no gigs, we are each of us responding in different manners. We are all coming to terms with someone telling us we can’t do what we love.

Everybody Hurts

Whether we recognise it or not, we are all grieving at the moment. Grieving for the loss of what we had, lamenting our lost jobs, mourning our broken connections, searching for our social glue. Everyone experiences grief in different ways and right now is no exception. Some are angry, some in denial, some weeping and oh so many more just a bit shell-shocked and lost.

The 5 stages of grief are commonly accepted as:

1. Denial;

2. Anger;

3. Bargaining;

4. Depression;

5. Acceptance.

People won’t necessarily go through all stages or in any particular order but it’s worth recognising them and how they might relate to our common predicament.

The emotional symptoms will be different for us all. I’ve perceived shock, disbelief, anger and fear in myself over the last few weeks. They are powerful feelings and it is hard to have any clarity or purpose through these red mists. Recognising that they exist is the first step on a long path to accepting and dealing with them.

You may even experience some physical symptoms such as fatigue, nausea, insomnia or general aches and pains. This reaction is normal for some. I’m no doctor though, so take these words with the appropriate grains of salt. 000 is there for a reason.

A Bridge Over Troubled Water

There are many widely accepted ways of dealing with grief. Normally, friends and family members might offer a calming shoulder, therapists and counsellors a wise word, or a support group a common purpose or demon to slay. Physical distancing makes these hard. There are many online resources to assist.

Perhaps you have a faith that you can seek solace in. For once, I’m envious. Doing a few shows with TISM is the closest I’ve come to following an ‘ism but whatever works for you is good.

Me – I’m talking (to significant others, friends and colleagues), walking (to keep the blood flowing), writing (for work and understanding) and eating moderate amounts of good food (to keep the body healthy). I also find a blast of super loud and angry music in the ‘phones once or twice a day quite helpful. Maybe even smashing some nasty monsters in a computer game. Again, find something to do that makes you feel good.

I’ve often used humour to cope with the tragedies and farces of life but even I have found this hard as our current upheaval continues. After the initial shocks, the realisation that we are mourning loss has made it a lot easier to process. I’ve now managed a few perverse smiles at some of the odder moments. Sick, huh? Maybe I’ve been to too many funerals recently.

Because of this and more, I am well accustomed to picking myself up after being slapped down by life’s challenges. As an eternal optimist, I look for the silver lining and cling on to any few positives to be found in a maelstrom of negatives. It may seem that there is nothing good out there right now, but I beg to differ and see it as a matter of perspective.

Good Vibrations

For starters, the hyper-partisan bi-polarisation of our political system has been thrown out the window and politicians of all persuasions are actually talking together rather than yelling at each other so much. With luck, they’ll actually get something constructive done for a change. At the very least, even in recess, they are now having to work pretty hard to earn their big bucks. Experts in (at least) the disciplines of Health & Science are finally being listened to and not derided as “so called”.

Neighbours are talking over the fence for the first time ever. Have you met yours yet? Communities are pulling together and our emergency responders and health workers are doing an even more amazing job than usual. People are getting creative and inventive and sharing their wins and quirks with the world.

Before getting swamped by the evil tide wave of the pandemic poo-nami, let’s find some upsides. Hey, the sun still rose this morning … I watched it … it was sweet.

I’m Still Standing / I Will Survive / Lazarus / Fresh Feeling / The Show Must Go On / Eye Of The Tiger / I Won’t Back Down / etc

Whether you want it or not, necessity may mean it is time to do try another career, or any career or job for that matter. Do whatever work you can to pay the bills and survive. Don’t be shy in putting your hand up for the handouts that are on offer. For many of us, this will be the first time that we accept the largess of the public purse but that is exactly what it is there for.

Phoenix yourself – perhaps an inept metaphor given the summer we’ve just had – but desperate times call for desperate measures. Try and find a way to rise from the ashes, stronger than ever. Just remember to take time to breath, relax and assess along the way.

Panic! stopped the Disco

This pandemic started with a medical panic, then induced a mad economic panic, before the polemic became academic and the polity got dialectic. Phew! Eventually, we will get on top of this bug and some semblance of life will go on. Our industry is down but not out and I know it contains too many tenacious buggers that will not be defeated or cowed. We will persevere. Humans are the most ingenious of animals and tech crew some of the more inventive and adaptable amongst them.

In the meantime (thanks Helmet), using empathy, understanding and sharing a smile or two might help make the transition a little more bearable for all of us as the boffins tame this unseen beast while the rest of us adapt to whatever the new normal is going to be.

We are all in this pickle together. Alone in the physical sense, we are united in the social sense and should process our grief and disbelief collectively.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I’ll close with a recent quote from Videopro’s ever-wise Cameron Douglas:

“In these hard times, please think about this.

Some people use humour to cope, others are offended by it.

Some people can remote work, others cannot.

People are panic buying in supermarkets and panic selling on stock markets.

Some people are losing their jobs, some their companies, some their super, and some their minds as they grapple with full-time parenting.

Everybody is responding to this in different ways, and we have to show tolerance to how they cope.

The world doesn’t just need strong leadership, it needs strong networks.

Social Distancing, the most important term we’ve never heard before, is for the body, not the brain and not the heart.

Pick up the phone twice as much as you used to – call your friends, your family, your colleagues, and your clients.

Stay connected – they need you, and whether you know it or not, you need them.”